ADHD Masking Queer: Unmasking Your Authentic Self as a Neurodivergent LGBTQIA+ Adult

For many neurodivergent individuals, masking ADHD behaviours—suppressing natural actions to conform to neurotypical expectations—can feel like a survival strategy. However, this often comes at a cost: burnout, anxiety, and a profound disconnection from your true self.

As someone who is neurodivergent, I understand this deeply. In professional settings, I’ve often found myself masking, especially during long meetings where staying seated feels overwhelming. Over time, I’ve learnt to unmask in ways that feel safe and manageable. For instance, I’ve communicated with colleagues about my need for bio or movement breaks to self-regulate. I also keep stimming toys nearby, which helps me stay grounded and present.

QUEER ADHD MASKING

Queer ADHD masking refers to the ways LGBTQIA+ neurodivergent folks suppress or alter their natural behaviours to appear more "acceptable" or "neurotypical." This might include:

• Suppressing stimming (e.g., tapping, rocking).

• Forcing eye contact in social situations.

• Mimicking social cues to fit in.

  
  

While these behaviours may help navigate certain environments, the long-term impact of masking can include emotional numbness, burnout, and a loss of connection to one’s authentic self.

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Queer Identity and ADHD Masking: Unique Challenges and Experiences

For many queer, neurodivergent adults, the experience of masking can feel even more complex. Masking, suppressing or hiding traits to “fit in" is already common among people with ADHD. When youre also queer, there can be added layers of pressure to conform, stay safe, or avoid judgment.

Why is this tho'?

Queer people often learn to mask parts of themselves from a young age, whether it’s their sexuality, gender expression, or neurodivergent traits. This double (or even triple) masking can be exhausting and may make it harder to recognise your authentic self.

Some unique challenges faced by queer adults with ADHD include:

• Navigating environments where both your neurodivergence and your queer identity are misunderstood or stigmatised.

• Feeling pressure to “perform” or “pass” as neurotypical and/or cisgender/heterosexual.

• Worrying that unmasking one part of yourself might put another part at risk.

• Struggling to find spaces where all aspects of your identity are welcomed and affirmed.

• Omitting or censoring language that accurately describes your lived experience because it might require a lot of explanation and or be met with a lot of judgment.

How ADHD Masking Affects You

Masking often comes with significant emotional and physical costs. You might notice:

• Burnout: Feeling constantly drained from suppressing your natural instincts.

• Emotional numbness: Struggling to identify your own feelings and needs.

• Disconnection: Losing sight of who you truly are beneath the mask.

One client I worked with realised their tendency to freeze or people-please in conflict situations was tied to masking. By exploring these patterns, they were able to set boundaries and express their needs with confidence.

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ADHD Unmasking Neurodivergent Authenticity

Unmasking isn’t about abruptly stopping behaviours—it’s about understanding why they exist and creating space for your authenticity to be expressed.

Here’s how you can begin your journey:

✨ Recognise the signs: Are you feeling emotionally numb, burnt out, or struggling to identify your needs? These might be signs that masking is taking a toll.

✨ Find safe spaces: Surround yourself with people and environments where you feel accepted as you are.

✨ Take small steps: Start by allowing yourself to stim, set boundaries, or use accommodations in spaces where you feel safe.

✨ Reconnect with your body: Practices like trauma-informed yoga can help you tune into your body’s needs and embrace intuitive movement.

✨ Reflect & explore: Dive deeper into understanding your masking behaviours and what authenticity means to you.

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How Yoga and Coaching Can Support Unmasking

Through my work as a trauma-informed yoga teacher and ADHD coach, I’ve seen how reconnecting with the body can be transformative. Yoga provides a safe, nurturing space to explore intuitive movement, breathwork, and self-compassion. It encourages you to listen to your body’s needs and honour them without judgement—whether that means swaying, rocking, or simply resting.

Coaching complements this by offering practical, individualised strategies for navigating daily life. Together, we can explore the roots of your masking behaviours, set boundaries, and embrace your authentic self with confidence.

🌟 Want to go even further? Coaching can provide a safe, affirming space to explore and embrace your authentic self. Book a free discovery call today to learn more.

Book Your Free Discovery Call

Join the Conversation

What small steps have you taken to embrace your authentic self? Share your thoughts in the comments below—I’d love to hear your journey!

Feel free to share this blog with others who might benefit from learning about unmasking ADHD. Together, we can create a world that fully embraces neurodivergent ways of being.